Dec. 6th & 7th

Right now I am feeling frustrated, confused, defeated, annoyed and like a bit of a failure as Andrew's mom. I know there will be complaining, rambling and a great deal of over-sharing but this is my journal and I need to get this out. Feel free to back away now.

Last night I was going to make a clue card that read "Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House we go!" We were going to stop by a shopping center called Riverwoods that has sleigh rides, Santa and a lot of Christmas lights. (they only do the sleigh rides and Santa on Mon. Fri. & Sat. so we couldn't just go the next day) After we were done we were going to go to Paul's grandma's retirement home for their annual Christmas party.  It was going to be a great evening.

We got a call Sunday night saying that Fern had been taken to the hospital. It's possible that she had a heart attack. We didn't know when she would be back to her home but for sure the party was out. We got to visit her tonight at the hospital and she seemed to be doing well. We are praying that she will be okay and home soon.

At church on Sunday I had been told about a living nativity in a near by town. The last night it was running was Dec. 6th, last night. It was suppose to be amazing with live camels and everything. We didn't think we would be able to go since we had the other plans but when things changed I considered giving it a try.

I made a mistake. I gave the kids the option between Riverwoods and the nativity. (I recently read a quote that said "Don't ask your kids what they want for dinner unless they're buying. It's going to be my new motto.) I told them we weren't sure how either was going to go, both could be crowded but this was out last chance for the nativity and we could do the other later. Emma wanted to try the nativity and of course Andrew had to be difficult. He wanted to do the fun stuff. Paul is so easy going, he was willing to do whatever.

I pushed for the nativity. We ate dinner and hurried over to Alpine. We parked at a church and then they shuttled you by bus, tractor and horse trailer to the house/barn where the nativity was being held. The transportation line was LONG. Like really really long. I don't know what we were thinking when we left the house but we weren't dressed appropriately. I had a light weight canvas jacket and long sleeves, that was it. The kids were in sweatshirts. It was in the 40's but the wind was blowing and it was sprinkling a bit. Paul went back to the car and got every sweatshirt, jacket, hat etc. that was carelessly left behind. (Andrew had on two sweatshirts and two hats)

His attitude sucked from the get-go. When he isn't happy or comfortable no one is allowed to be happy. It was like Chicago all over again. He grumbled and complained and literally kicked us and bitched and moaned. It was one of those times though where I wasn't going to let him win. I just wasn't going to even though I was cold too.

After a lengthy wait we got loaded into a horse trailer.

The truck pulled us up the hill and on a winding ride. When we got to our destination we found the same gigantic line that we had just been waiting in was ahead of us again. This time it was to get up to the nativity. We had to walk through mud and gunk, it smelled like barn and it was still cold.

None of us were thrilled to see a massive line but again I wasn't going to quit or let him win.

The line moved a little better and there were actors along the way helping to make it a bit more tolerable for everyone, except Andrew.

Finally we got to "Bethlehem". It was in a huge barn. This is where the animals were.

Kids were dressed up acting like children that lived during that time and there were adults there acting as merchants. It was trying to portray how hard life was at that time I suppose. They were clanging on metal, hammering leather, sawing wood. It was very loud and a bit hectic in there.

We hurried through (this was the first chance we had to "get out of line" and do things at our own pace) and headed to the next barn.

(Just keep smiling. Just keep smiling.)

This is where we were able to finally see the Holy Family, the nativity, baby Jesus. There was a very sweet spirit in the room. All the noises that were in the last barn were gone. Everyone was reverent, respectful and quiet. I wasn't even sure if I should take a picture. I didn't want to disturb the mood. After we walked past them we were done, that was it. I will admit, I had been touched.

As we were leaving the barn Andrew made a rude comment. It was something to the effect of "that was so worth it, not!" I was mad. Yes, it took us two hours of waiting in lines, standing and walking in goopy mud, smelling poop and freezing but in the end I felt the Spirit. I know kids are different, they can't empathize as well as adults and don't see things the way we do but he didn't even try. We have so often dismissed his behavior because he is young but he is old enough to act better than he did. I saw much younger children that were better behaved than he was.

When we got back to the car I told them I wanted to talk and I didn't want any interruptions. None. I asked them to think about Mary and Joseph. I wanted them to think about how far they had to walk or ride on a donkey, how pregnant she was, how miserable and scared they must have been. What we had just endured was nothing compared to what they went though. The poop smells we smelled in the barn, that is where Jesus Christ our Savior was born, in a stable by the animals where quite possibly it smelled like poop. I wanted them to remember and think about what Christmas is really about.

I wanted them (mostly Andrew) to think outside of themselves. I wanted them to think about all the people who volunteered their time, animals, barns, property, trucks, etc. during this busy time of year so that we could have this experience. I'm sure they were cold, hungry and bored but they did it for us.

I need them to be willing to do things that may not be their first choice for the sake of others. I want them to make the best of any situation. I want them to find the positive and not to quit when things are hard and uncomfortable.

I thought we had maybe gotten through a little bit but this morning when they saw the next clue Andrew said "I HATE CRAFTS!" with a look on his face like I was trying to torture him.

I am trying to do this advent activity for fun and entertainment. It's suppose to be light and easy, not something that makes me feel sad. It's not to make their lives hell. I do it for selfish reasons too. It takes a lot for me to enjoy Christmas (I swear working retail RUINS Christmas forever!) and these silly things have gotten me excited about Christmas again. It's fun to surprise them. It's fun to watch them try to figure out the clues, to see them get excited and do things with them. When his attitude was bad again this morning it broke my heart. Why do I even try? Am I making him even more entitled? Is there a way to have fun with your child without them thinking everything is always all about them? I'm struggling. All day I have felt blue and weepy and I don't even have PMS.

We ended up doing the craft tonight and had a good time.

Here they are wearing the necklaces they made.

I even got in on the action.

I love these candy necklaces. They are cute and yummy. Andrew's attitude was better but we still have a long way to go with him. Paul and I discussed everything while he was home for lunch and we have some strategies that I hope will help in the future. I sure wish that kid came with an instruction manual though. I really need it.

Dec. 5th

Okay so the kids are totally getting into this and it's been totally fun for me too! 

Each night before bed they remind me to make the clue so it's ready for them when they get up. (I was late on Saturday) They have been really great sports even though they haven't been 100% interested in all the activities. (Emma is getting a little old to sit in bed and watch cartoons but she never complained. Andrew said the gingerbread house wasn't something he really wanted to try but he liked putting the candy on.) I hope to make this an annual tradition.

Paul loves spritz cookies but I am cookie press challenged so I don't make them often. Last night while I was digging around in the cupboard I found my cookie press. I knew we wanted to make cookies tonight and you do get a lot with spritz so it seemed like a good option. 

I had it out on the counter since last night. The kids were so intrigued by this new contraption. They couldn't figure out what it was. They guessed it was a thermos, an air gun, a Lucky Charm shooter, a pepper grinder. They had all sort of crazy guesses. Finally we told them what it was. Emma and I made the dough together and then we all worked on pressing the cookies.

They both tried it with some luck. 

After a while we got on a roll  and they were coming out really well. Then it was time to switch tips and add more dough. We had to call Paul in to help. He is more patient than I am with this sort of thing.

Angelee do you see yourself back there? David and Nancy your card is on the door too!

We made three sheets of cookies. They were very shortbread like. They were yummy but not the way I remembered spritz tasting. 

Here is the recipe. (If life gets too hectic this month this will also be my new recipe for the month LOL!) I got it off of allrecipes.com. 

Buttery Spritz Cookies

             Ingredients

• 1 cup butter (no substitutes), softened
• 1 1/4 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Food coloring

Directions

1. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and extracts. Combine the flour and salt; gradually add to creamed mixture. Tint with food coloring if desired.
2. Using a cookie press fitted with the disk of your choice, press dough 2 in. apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Top with colored sugar and decorating candies if desired. Bake at 375 degrees F for 6-8 minutes or until set (do not brown). Remove to wire racks to cool.                 

December 4th ~ The Gingerbread House

So Emma guessed the clue again. Paul was impressed since he didn't think it was a very good clue at all. I was worried about Andrew's attitude though so I added that disclaimer. Sometimes when things don't go just right he get frustrated. Guess what? As it turns out it was my attitude that needed adjusting. 

Here is the kit Paul and I bought at Costco. We both worked out butts off today. Seriously it was non-stop work. He was in the yard raking, blowing and bagging leaves and I was inside decorating and cleaning. (And it still looks messy. I hate that!) I was so tired and grumpy tonight I wanted to just skip the activity all together but knew I couldn't do that. If I did it once the whole thing would go down the toilet.

Emma had asked that we do a gingerbread house this year. This is the type of activity that I normally try to avoid. I don't do well with tedious tasks that have a lot of room for error. This kit seemed doable though.

Looks can be deceiving. 

The frosting didn't want to stick. Getting the windows outlines was a ginormous pain in the butt but we made the best of it. We just covered them in a bunch of candy.

Both kids worked hard and they got along!

Andrew can't wait to eat the snowman.

It's far from perfect but I think it ended up being fun for all of us. I even think it's sort-of cute!  

Dec. 2nd & Dec. 3rd

Last night the kids and I watched Merry Madagascar (cute!) and Kung Fu Panda Holiday special (lame!) while Paul was doing a presentation for his Humanities class. (He scored 50 out of 50 on it. Good job honey.)  When the kids read the clue yesterday morning they both thought they were getting new pajamas. Oops. I told them they could get their PJ's now but then they wouldn't get any on Christmas Eve. They didn't like that idea so they wore some they already had. I then broke the news to them that this wasn't a 24 days of Christmas where they get gifts, it was just fun activities. 

This was the clue they got this morning. We decided to take them for a game of laser tag. We have passes and they had been asking for a while now so we figured this would be something fun to do. They both guessed it right away. 

Paul took the day off so we could have some time to do some Christmas stuff without the kids. We started out the day the best way possible. These donuts are simply the best in the world. 

Oh baby, baby. 

(The girls gave us 14 instead of the regular 12 and yes that is a bag of donut holes up there on the dash. I seriously wanted to kiss her on the mouth.)

We got to shop in Park City, eat lunch in Salt Lake City at Red Iguana and then come home for the kids. It was sort of a bust of a shopping day but I always love spending time with Paul. 

I didn't want to take my big camera in with us while we played laser tag so this is the only picture I got.  We had never been to this place before. It is under MAJOR construction. Once it is done it is going to be pretty amazing but right now it's nuts. We had to kill some time before we could play so we let the kids loose in the arcade for about 20 minutes. (We totally weren't planning on letting them do the arcade. It screws up what we had planned for tomorrow) 

We told them it was Andrew's reward for getting straight A's. (Report cards came out today for the grade school. The other good news is that Andrew is just about ready to graduate from speech. We just need to have one final test and sign some papers and we're done! I'm so proud of him.) I could have taken my camera in and still had time to put it back in the car but I didn't. We had a lot of fun but the game only lasted 8 minutes and it would have been close to an hour before we could play again. After we were done we left and promised the kids we would come back.  

I'm still not sure what activity we are doing tomorrow. Originally we were going to take them to Pirate Island since we bought some online discount deal that we need to use. Since they were at an arcade today that doesn't seem like a good idea anymore. We bought a gingerbread house kit at Costco that I thought we could do but we were suppose to make cookies on Sunday. Decorating a gingerbread house and baking cookies are different right? You can eat the cookies...

It's still up in the air. Paul and I will get everything figured out once the kids are in bed. 

Trying Some New Things

There's an idea floating around the internet this year that I really loved and wanted to try. It's a different type of advent calendar. Each day you do some kind of activity with your kids to count down the days until Christmas. We are going to watch movies, decorate cookies, see Santa, let the kids sleep under the tree, drive around looking at lights, etc. etc. etc. We have some really fun things planned. (At least I think we do)

I decided to make these cards to give to them each morning with a clue to what we are doing that night. I was behind schedule though so they didn't get their clue until after school. They didn't seem very excited about it but they also don't really know what is going on. We thought it might be more fun to keep them in the dark. I hope as we get further into this they will get more an more excited and anxiously await their clues and activities.  

Tonight we were suppose to decorate for Christmas. We had some conflicts and only got to decorate our tree. That's okay, it's a good start. We will work on adding the rest over the next few days. 

I hope to have a good mix of fun and spirituality throughout this process. I was hoping that the kids would answer my question above with the nativity. Emma did. Andrew said the Kneeling Santa which was really good too. I just want them to think about Jesus throughout the season.

Andrew got emotional seeing some of his favorite ornaments and remember all the memories that go along with them. He can be so sweet. 

Emma was excited to see my cheese from Oregon. 

I had fun putting up the new ornaments that we collected over the last year. I love my Lobstah's that we got in Maine. They were so cute I "needed" two.

My Boston ornament.

My pink Hollywood star. LOL!

We also have one from New Buffalo, Michigan that I didn't get a picture of yet. Something else we are doing that is new this year...a smaller tree. I was so tired of having a gigantic tree in our tiny living space.  We had to put our coffee table in storage, move couches and feel cramped in years past. This year we only used the top two sections of the tree and put it up on boxes. The kids were a little sad that it was smaller and that we couldn't use all of our ornaments but I sort of love it. Nothing had to move. 

 This is the card they will get tomorrow morning. I have Merry Madagascar and the Kung Fu Panda holiday specials recorded. Paul will be gone so we will all get in my bed and veg out for an hour.